With two kids now starting to sleep happily through the night. I have some fairly valuable knowledge to share here, which you will find even more valuable in your 8th week of waking at all hours of the night to feed your darling little baby.
First, it’s not that big of a deal, initially. The lack of sleep and all. You will have a darling little newborn to cuddle and gaze at and worry about; and going in to visit him or her at all hours of the night will be a wonderful experience. These are really good times, and enjoy them while they last. It’s helpful to remember that you will not always be waking up to do this and there is something different and wonderful to the sleepy 1am nursings vs. the daytime ones.
However. Eventually, probably in the 2nd month or so, you’re really going to start feeling it. My sentence in the above paragraph will take on a bitter, sarcastic tone though it will STILL be helpful to remember. So, at this point it will also be helpful to remember that you WILL be getting full night’s sleep again. Someday.
However, that someday can be fairly soon if you remember the helpful tips below. And my helpful tips are really going to be helpful if you don’t plan on co-sleeping, or only co-slept for a little while and now are putting your little one in his/her crib to sleep. This isn’t a discussion as far as whether co-sleeping or crib sleeping is good/bad/going to ruin your child’s life forever and ever…it’s just what worked for me. Both my kids slept in their cribs after the first week or so being home. Before that they slept with me. I suppose I could have continued down that path…but I really enjoy turning over/sleeping with my husband/ sleeping on my tummy/just sleeping. So the crib really worked. I haven’t tried specifically designed little beds for cosleeping but imagine they would be handy.
So, on that note: I read one really good book about sleeping that I used a bit on Gwen. It was called “12 Hours of Sleep by 12 Week Old”. And while that worked pretty well on Gwen, these ideas had no discernable effect on Garrison. The child HATES a schedule. That type of thing is really going to depend on your child’s temperament. Essentially the book slowly weans out one night feeding after another until you’re sleeping through the night. You don’t really let your child ‘cry it out’, you hover over their crib after letting them cry for 5 minutes and pat and give them a pacifier but don’t pick them up. It’s not quite Ferberizing, but it’s not that different either.
Because Gwen was pretty good about sleeping –we really only had one night that she cried a lot and then she was onboard. Garrison? Well he’ll just keep crying and crying. The child is determined and I’m not going to let him cry for too long before picking him up. It just upsets him on a different level than it did Gwen. Trust your instincts as a parent on that sort of thing.
However, while Garrison is very resistant to ‘sleep training’ and scheduled naps and everything else that may make my life slightly more convenient…he has had a bedtime of 7 -7:30 every day since he’s been born. This is because it’s my daughter's bedtime and he gets to be bathed, dressed for bed, fed and put to bed just like she does. Whether he wakes up later or not doesn’t matter, he just gets to go to bed at 7. And this has made a big difference. Now, with him at 12 weeks old and having a very persnickety personality; he’s just started sleeping through the night. Book or no book, the schedule is working.
So I would highly recommend a bedtime ritual and consistent time. We picked 7 with Gwen because we’re up early to get to work (around 5) and because with my MBA I need about 2-3 hours at night to do homework. 7 fits very well into that criteria. I would pick a time between 6 and 8 to start off with. And then stick with it for the first 3 months as often as possible. Make it a high priority item for the two of you.
My little ones LOVE baths, so they get a nice warm bath (I don’t soap them up each bath, it’s more for relaxation purposes than because they’re actually dirty), a change into cozy jammies, Garrison gets wrapped up in a fuzzy blanket (Gwen gets a story) and I rock him in the rocker while nursing him.
He gets drowsy really quick, but I make an effort to keep him awake (by tickling his cheek) until he’s nursed on both sides really well. Sometimes I put him to bed completely passed out, other times he’ll just be drowsy. Do a little burp and then into the crib to sleep.
When he wakes up in the middle of the night I pick him up, keeping the lights off (I have a nice nightlight in there) and nurse him in the rocker again, and use the time to catch up on blog reading (on my Iphone) until he’s done. Then back into the crib. I do not talk to him or engage him much during his nighttime feeding to keep him as asleep as possible.
Wake up at the same time each morning and, whenever possible, go in and wake your little one up at that time. Eventually they learn that you’re going to get them at 6am (or whenever) EVERY DAY, so they don’t need to call you to let you know they’re awake. Garrison hangs out in his crib wide awake knowing I’m going to get him up around 5:30. He’s cooing and happy but not crying. Even on weekends, that’s what we do.
Persistence is key. You’re going to have some tough moments. There will be nights you are up every hour. There will be evenings where you’ll have had it with breastfeeding because NO ONE else can wake up for you to take care of your baby. You will probably shed more than a few tears of self-pity. All of this is OK. However, if you can hang in there it will be worth it and you will have a baby who starts sleeping through the night.
And it’s not perfect. You’ll go forwards and backwards with your progress. Writing down when your little one wakes up will help you keep track of your overall forward momentum if you need it. For me, it was just another thing to do and I had completely given up any hope of sleeping so I didn’t care. Still, looking back I can see when his midnight feeding changed to a 1am, and his 1am feeding to a 3am. Occasionally he still wakes up for that 3am feeding but he’s also starting to sleep through to 5:30am, so we’re getting there. It just takes patience.
Drop me a note if you have questions, I’d love to talk with your or even just give you a ‘hang in there!’ if you need it.
Table of Contents:
- Equipment
- Setup
- Supply and Storage
- Nighttime and Sleeping
- Back to Work! (coming soon)
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