Another Post

Little time for excuses. I must post when I can. I can say that when school is out the postings will be much quicker than this – but this is OK too.
 
The kids were both sick this weekend. Garrison has had RSV and Gwen had the stomach flu. I’d been home with Garrison for 4 days, only to get the call on Friday that Gwen was throwing up as I was packing Greg to fly out of town for a weekend with his brother. On my insistence, Greg left in spite of the kids being sick, and I was left at home with them. 6 solid days of very sick children.
 
I am amazed at how terrible and wonderful intensive times with my children can be. Their demands and whines stretch me to points where I am sure I must snap…and then I don’t … and I’m amazed.
 
Their demands and whines and exhausted little bodies wanting nothing more than comfort also create some of the best moments ever; as they curl up and sleep on or around me and I sit, not daring to move and wake them, listening to them breathe, stroking their heads, and doing absolutely nothing but perform admirably as a human pillow for a few hours. 
 
It is, in every sense, the best and worst of times.
 
This past week, as I ceaselessly cleaned noses and gave countless baths and rubbed Vicks on chests and feet and cleaned up vomit and diapers and sanitized and washed sheets was exhausting. It is only when they were newborns that I have been more tired.
 
But something was different. In all the discomfort there was growth too. Painful, excruciating growth. Gwen and I had conversations, she was articulate as she asked me to make her feel better. Garrison, rather than crawling all over the place begging to be put down, nestled happily in my arms and rested, fluffy head against my cheek.

And the bond of motherhood, which is all too often forged in fire, was strengthened. I am a harbor for my children, a place of safety, rest, and peace. A place where if they are not feeling well they can come to for some comfort. It is a hard-earned badge and when your children reach an age where they recognize it not just instinctually, but in a cognizant manner…. that is highly rewarding.
 
And so I return to daily life out of the forge and fires different.
         Stronger.
               Gentler.