Grumpy

My son, Garrison, is 6 weeks old this week. He's an interesting little individual. Most people would like to say their children are happy, content, that they smile all the time...I can't really say that about Garrison. Fact is, the child is grumpy.

I should have known he would be not quite predictable, he practically came out growling. Seriously. For 3 days after he was born, he did nothing but growl and groan. Not quite crying at that point (that was to develop shortly thereafter), just a constant noise. Even while nursing and sleeping, though during those times his growling would...lessen a bit I guess. It's really quite difficult to explain. All the nurses commented on it.

They were all "Is he still making those noises?" and I was like "Uh, yeah..." and they were all "Why is he doing that?!" and I was like "OHMYGOD THIS IS ONLY MY SECOND TIME DOING THIS, WHAT DOES IT MEAN????"

Now, he cries...a LOT. Our doctor thinks it might be reflux, so I give him a little minty medicine which pretty much only gives me something to do. I can't imagine it's really helping though I'm not brave enough to find out what he's like without the medicine.

Garrison doesn't sleep much, an hour or two at a time at night, and about the same during the day. At least I finally got him used to the crib, which was an intense, exhausting two-week ordeal to get him to try it out. He still refuses to sleep in there during some naps.

Greg thinks we should attempt to let him 'cry it out'. Greg is also not home with him to see how quickly that situation would deteriorate. A typical cry-session goes something like this. Let's assume I'm doing something like changing my daughter's diaper, or dealing with something that happened to her. So I put Garrison in his swing.

First little cough: equivalent of "Please pick me up now, I don't think I like it very much here"

Followed by ear-piercing shriek: "I've decided I don't like it at all here, pick me up NOW"

Continued by Screaming Wails: "I think that the chair is made of HOT LAVA and I hate you so much. Now just come get me, quick! Before the lava consumes my body!"

Shrieks, wails, and eventually, not that much breathing he's expending so much noise: "OHMYGOD I KNEW IT. YOU'RE TRYING TO KILL ME. I HATE YOU I HATE YOU IHATEYOU!!!!! GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD...."

This is, typically, only the span of about a minute.

There has been one time when, due to Gwen having another sort of meltdown after falling dramatically off our patio...I couldn't get to Garrison before he reached 'Goodbye Cruel World' status...eerily, he just stopped. I think (though I was in another room so I can't confirm this) that he cried so hard he passed out. I ran in to check on him and he was laying peacefully in his seat, eyes closed. Still breathing, thank God, but very silent for him.

So, whenever possible, I don't let him get that worked up. Not only can I not bear his wails and shrieks, but bringing him back down is a fairly exhausting endeavor and ruins him for naps as he becomes convinced I'm going to off him the next chance I get and so he watches me warily for the next couple hours or so.

People say it's colic. I say its Garrison not quite accepting of the fact that he has, in fact, been born, and that he needs to get on with life just like everyone else.

Just so we're on the same level, here is my seriously adorable son, at 'Please pick me up now' status (I had just set him down for about 3 seconds before he decided it was time to jump off a bridge):