This past weekend, to celebrate our anniversary, Greg and I stayed at a B&B in central Colorado. Perhaps more B than a B&B, for it was a bit rustic, and the owner didn’t feel like cooking breakfast on morning #2 (though to his credit, he did say we could cook our own breakfast with his groceries). Whatever; small towns can often translate into new definitions of things you thought you knew.
It was a much-needed break to get away and have nothing to do for 2 whole days. We read, tried out the canoe (an amusing tale for a later blog), hiked, ate junk food, and slept. At one point, we entertained the idea of heading up and checking out the marble quarry which makes the town, Marble, so famous.
So the morning that we did get breakfast, the owner joined us and upon hearing our interest in the quarry trip, decided to regale us with stories of the craziness of this small town. He’s lived there for almost 20 years, has served on and off as a town-councilman and mayor pro-term, and knows quite a bit about town politics.
So he tells us about the crazy people who own the land through which 20 feet of the trail to the marble quarry passes through (got that?). The trail cannot divert through this old mining claim as there is a cliff to the left and right of it, and seeing an opportunity to make money and establish some dominant hierarchy within the town. . . they’ve decided to charge people $5 per person to walk this 20 feet of ‘their’ trail.
At this point in the tale, our host got a weird gleam in his eye and proceeded to tell us that we shouldn’t pay the fee if we were to go. I agreed that it was ridiculous, but shouldn’t the town government be taking care of this? Don’t they need a permit or something?
I was wrong; such is the corruptness of this town that people are powerless to stop these money-hungry folk. And so, our host suggested, we should instead put green paper into the slot that asks for money with a snippy little note on it saying something to the point of “Good luck with your venture” or something to that point.
I was starting to feel like a pawn in this whole game, and suggested that Greg and I saunter through without paying and without the sassy green paper.
No, the host didn’t like that idea.
Why not? Says I, clearly naive to the ways of Marble.
Well, a couple tried that a few years ago (which tells you how long this ridiculous feud has been going on) and the owner, frustrated that people in town were telling tourists not to pay, fired a warning shot over their heads with his rifle. They, of course, took the man to court, and his whole defense was that clearly this wasn’t an issue, since it was just a warning shot and not actually aimed to harm them.
Greg and I glanced at each other over our French toast, eyebrows raised. Our host then excused himself to go clean up, cheerily gave us a bit of green paper (because they’ll probably think it’s a $10!) and then left us.
We decided not to hit up the marble quarry that day, or the next.
Clearly, everyone here is crazy; both sides of the argument. Additionally, anyone who thinks that warning shots are normal behavior doesn’t need $10 of my money and I’m surely not going to provoke him with a bit of green paper.
:)
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